Grief is a powerful emotional response to loss, whether that loss stems from the death of a loved one, a major life change, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a certain identity or purpose. It’s a deeply personal experience that can affect people in vastly different ways. No one grieves exactly the same.
One of the most important distinctions to make is between grief and a depressive disorder. While the two can share symptoms (such as sadness and disrupted sleep), they are not the same. Grief is typically tied to a specific event or loss and fluctuates in intensity. Depression, on the other hand, is more persistent and pervasive, often lacking a clear trigger and lasting beyond a reasonable timeframe.
It’s important for mental health to be able to distinguish when grief turns into depression or other unhealthy expression of emotions. Grief is natural and should not be resisted as a human emotion. But it’s important to grieve in a healthy way, so that it doesn’t dominate life to an unhealthy degree and fundamentally hinder a person’s mental health. In such cases, depression treatment may be necessary to help individuals manage their symptoms and regain emotional balance.
When Does Grief Become Unhealthy?
Grief becomes problematic when it begins to interfere with your ability to function in daily life for an extended period. This may manifest as complicated grief disorder (also known as persistent complex bereavement disorder), where the individual remains emotionally stuck in mourning long after most people have adjusted to the loss.
Warning signs include:
- Ongoing feelings of numbness or detachment
- Difficulty accepting or disbelief about the death
- Avoidance of reminders of the loss
- Feeling detached or distrustful of other people since the death
- Difficulty reminiscing about the deceased person in a positive way
- Intense sorrow or pain in regards to the death
It’s crucial to recognize when grief shifts from a natural response to a chronic mental health issue. Left unaddressed, it can lead to depression, substance abuse, and long-term emotional difficulties.
How to Cope with Grief in a Healthy Way?
Healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting or “moving on” from the loss, it means learning to carry the pain while still moving forward in life. There are many potential healthy coping mechanisms that can help with processing the loss, and it’s important to find the ones that work best for you.
▶️ Talk Openly About It
Grief thrives in silence, but healing can grow in connection. Talking openly about your grief, whether to a trusted friend, a support group, or a therapist, can provide an outlet for the storm of emotions inside. Verbalizing your feelings often brings clarity and relief, even if the pain remains. For example, someone grieving a spouse might find healing in sharing stories, expressing longing, and reflecting on changed routines.
▶️ Don’t Give Yourself a Deadline to Feel Better
Grief doesn’t follow a clock. The belief that you should be “over it” by a certain point only adds pressure and shame. Some days may feel lighter, others will feel heavier, even years later. You are not failing by still grieving; you are honoring your loss.
▶️ Ask for Help with Practical Things
Daily tasks can feel overwhelming during grief. Asking for help, whether with driving kids, making meals, or simply sitting together, is not a weakness. It’s wise and allows you to focus on healing without added stress.
▶️ Express Yourself in Creative Ways
Art, music, journaling, and similar outlets help move emotions that can’t be spoken. Whether it’s writing a poem, painting your emotions, or creating something symbolic, expression offers release. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s movement.
▶️ Do Hobbies That Bring Joy
It’s okay to laugh. Joy does not dishonor loss. Slowly reintroducing hobbies can reconnect you with moments of light. You may not feel the same joy at first, but you’re planting seeds of healing.
▶️ Try to Maintain Healthy Eating and Exercise Routines
Grief throws off sleep, appetite, and energy. Even light structure, like a daily walk or one healthy meal, can build emotional and physical resilience. Start small and give yourself grace.
▶️ Seek Therapy or Mental Health Support
There’s strength in seeking support. Grief counselors offer tools, validation, and space to process complicated emotions. Especially if your grief is tied to trauma or mental health conditions, therapy can be life-changing.
Examples of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms for Grief
While grief is an unavoidable part of life, some responses can make it harder to heal. Here are some unhealthy coping mechanisms to be mindful of:
Rushing through grief to avoid discomfort doesn’t help, but can actually delay healing. Pushing oneself to “just move on” or minimizing loss because “others have it worse” invalidates pain and can lead to long-term emotional suppression. Skipping steps only prolongs the inevitable process of processing grief.
Alcohol, drugs, or even excessive reliance on prescription medications may seem like a way to dull the pain. But this comes at a cost. Addictive substances may offer temporary relief, but they can compound grief in the long run by impairing a person’s ability to process emotions and function in daily life.
Some solitude is natural in periods of grief. But withdrawing entirely from loved ones can worsen emotional pain and increase the risk of depression. Humans are social creatures, and connection is essential even if a person is not in the mood to talk. Low-pressure interactions can help, such as a casual coffee date, a walk with a friend, or just sitting near someone while doing separate tasks. People will show up for someone they love that is grieving — the healthy thing is to allow them to do so.
There is no linear path through grief. A person may feel anger, then sadness, then peace, only to return to anger a short time later. This is normal. Shame for “still” feeling one way or “not yet” feeling another sets a person up for prolonged shame and failure. Grief doesn’t follow a script. It’s important to let the emotional process unfold as needed.
In the absence of long-term relief, it’s tempting to chase short-term positivity. This may take the form of shopping sprees, casual hookups, overwork, or constant stimulation. But while these behaviors may temporarily distract from pain, they don’t help a person heal from grief. Eventually, the pain will resurface. Rather than outrunning grief, try to gently turn toward it with compassion.
It’s common to feel apathetic toward self-care while grieving. But irregular sleep, skipping meals, or avoiding hygiene routines can quickly spiral into depression. Self-care doesn’t need to be elaborate. A warm bath, a nourishing meal, or putting on clean clothes can restore a sense of safety and normalcy.
Get Mental Health Support at Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery
At Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery, we understand how overwhelming grief can feel. Located in the heart of Idaho, our facility offers compassionate, personalized support in a serene, healing environment.
Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, facing life transitions, or dealing with addiction, our team of experienced professionals is here to help. We believe in treating the whole person – mind, body, and spirit. We use evidence-based therapies, peer support, and holistic approaches. Call us today to learn more about our programs and schedule a confidential consultation.
Clinical Director
Kendall Maloof is the clinical director at Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has held multiple leadership roles before settling here at Eagle Creek. Kendall received her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology in 2016. Her career in mental and behavioral health began in 2014 when she took up internships in both the nonprofit and for profit sectors. She interned at multiple reputable companies, such as The Living Success Center and 449 Recovery in California.
In 2019, Kendall became the clinical director of Sunsets Recovery for Woman, a dual diagnosis program in southern California. Kendall is a natural leader. She has an incredible ability to problem solve and stay calm in any situation. Kendall never fails to show up when she is needed, and her calm demeanor makes her team and clients feel at ease. Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery is proud to have Kendall as our clinical director.
