How does having ADHD affect personal relationships? There are many possibilities, and it’s important to know them. ADHD can affect a man’s relationships by causing problems in many different areas. Mental illness (or the lack of management of one) can present very unique obstacles for a couple in a relationship. It often takes patience and understanding to navigate a mental health diagnosis and build a life that allows room to manage the mental illness.
What is ADHD?
ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a common mental health disorder that affects one’s ability to pay attention, remember details, and execute upon goals. It can affect an individual in many aspects of their life, including interpersonal relationships. It can present itself in children, but adult diagnosis of ADHD isn’t unusual. Many adults realize later in life that they’ve been compensating for behaviors caused by ADHD to succeed.
Although there isn’t any cure for ADHD, effective strategies to manage the disorder can improve symptoms and general well-being. For some people, the right medication can help the brain better focus on tasks and improve executive functioning. But even with medication, people with ADHD can benefit from routines and accommodation.
Symptoms of ADHD in Men
Symptoms of ADHD in adult men may include:
- Inattention
- Disorganization
- Impulsivity
- Restlessness
- Hyperactivity
- Forgetfulness
- Avoiding tasks
- Bad listening skills
- Reckless mistakes
If you think you may have ADHD, ask a medical professional how to seek a formal diagnosis. Self-diagnosis has become popular due to social media. But a medical professional can help track patterns over time and help conduct a comprehensive exam to determine the nuances of your personal diagnosis.
How Does ADHD Present Differently in Adults vs. Children?
The three main symptoms that define ADHD are:
- Hyperactivity
- Inattention
- Impulsiveness
These symptoms are seen in both adults and children, but there is a difference in how they may present. In children, the symptoms may be more obvious (especially in boys). But in adults, the symptoms might be harder to spot due to self-accommodation.
Not all symptoms are present in all people with ADHD, and some symptoms may present themselves more prominently than others. This is another reason why professional diagnosis is most likely to benefit someone learning how to manage ADHD.
Early Childhood and School Age
- Squirming when in a chair
- Difficulty sitting down
- Running
- Fidgeting with hands and feet
- Difficulty maintaining attention
- Avoid tasks that require a lot of thinking
- Don’t seem to be listening when spoken to
- Losing or misplacing things frequently
- Blurting out answers
- Skipping lines, not waiting their turn
- Acting without considering consequences
- Interrupting and intruding in others’ personal space
Adulthood
Symptoms of ADHD may alleviate as the child grows older and exits more rigid school structures. But for many people with ADHD, the symptoms persist but may be seen as personality traits or character flaws. A formal diagnosis can help people identify what may or may not be caused by ADHD.
- General feeling of restlessness
- Difficulty sitting still for long periods
- Talking excessively
- Easily bored
- Careless mistakes
- Losing things
- Problems following instructions
- Lack of attention to detail
- Difficulty organizing
- Forgetfulness in everyday life
- Attempts to multi-task without completing tasks
- Blurting out answers or comments
- Participating in risky behavior
- Interrupting other people
- Making inappropriate comments
- Taking over a conversation
How is ADHD Different From ADD?
The main difference is that ADD (attention-deficit disorder) is an older term for ADHD. The term was officially changed to ADHD in 1994 by the American Psychiatric Association to better describe the range of symptoms. Some people have hyperactive behavior and some don’t, but ADHD is still the diagnosis.
How ADHD May Affect Relationships
ADHD can add special challenges to a relationship. But, by understanding how the symptoms affect the relationship, both people can figure out ways to cope. Here are some symptoms of ADHD that might contribute to conflicts in relationships or friendships:
A man with ADHD could be easily distracted during conversations, causing his friends, family, and partner to feel abandoned or unheard. If a partner succumbs to frequent distractions during conversations, it may also communicate the message that they aren’t interested in repairing relationship difficulties.
Men with ADHD tend to interrupt the other person and blurt out hurtful thoughts and opinions without meaning to. They may also regularly finish the other person’s sentences. It can also manifest as blurting out harmful comments without thinking about it.
Forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, and other special dates may cause their partner to feel insignificant or worthless. An individual might also forget to complete tasks or run errands. This can cause the partner to feel that their needs are undervalued or ignored compared to other topics.
People with ADHD may react to an external event with extreme emotions that are out of proportion to the trigger. They may have mood swings and angry outbursts, making the other person feel like they’re always walking on thin ice.
Conflicts may arise from the person with ADHD being late for appointments, dates, or get-togethers with others. Their problems with remembering important commitments or details may cause their partner to feel neglected or unimportant.
A person with ADHD who is always disorganized may create cluttered and sloppy spaces in the home. Due to this, their partner may feel like they have to constantly pick up after them.
Because of their symptoms, men with ADHD sometimes experience self-esteem issues and guilt feelings for letting down their partner, family, and friends. And simultaneously, they might feel like they’re being constantly criticized, hassled, or misunderstood.
It’s important to be supportive and understanding. Encourage him to get support from other places, such as support groups or professional treatment.
The Connection Between ADHD and Addiction
Because people with ADHD can be more impulsive and may also have co-occurring mental illnesses, they can be highly susceptible to alcohol and drug abuse.
People with ADHD may use alcohol to relieve the distress or emotional volatility that comes with the condition. It can also help them handle social and academic situations, which can be very stressful depending on the situation. It can also help them achieve a sense of calm if a situation is stressful or they’re experiencing a more manic state.
Both ADHD and alcoholism can have genetic ties, although a parent having alcoholism or ADHD is not a guarantee that the child will have it.
Many people believe marijuana can relieve their ADHD symptoms, but this is not a universal truth. For some people, marijuana use can facilitate anxiety and/or make symptoms of ADHD worse.
Misusing any prescription drugs can be deadly, but medications for ADHD carry extra risk of being addictive. Many drugs for ADHD are stimulants, controlled substances that carry a risk of addiction. It’s important to only take medications for their prescribed purpose.
Treatment for ADHD
ADHD is treated with a combination of medications and therapies. The correct treatment depends on the person.
CBT helps people learn to change negative thinking patterns to help improve concentration and focus. It focuses on mindset and framing problems or concerns in objective ways, plus observing how their thoughts can influence their actions and beliefs. People with ADHD can benefit from interrogating their default patterns and questioning if they’re being objective about their reality.
ADHD can be frustrating to live with, both for the person with the disorder and their loved ones. Family therapy can provide a safe space for people to express their feelings, as well as develop strategies to help the whole family unit work together.
Many support groups exist for people with ADHD, often centered around coping skills and optimal techniques for organization and executive function. Hearing about other people’s struggles with daily tasks or thought patterns may help someone with ADHD feel less alone in their struggles.
Heal From Addiction and Co-Occurring Mental Health Issues at Eagle Creek
It is possible for men to find treatment for ADHD and any co-occurring substance use disorder that they may be struggling with. Eagle Creek Recovery is an accredited, male-only recovery center located in Nampa, Idaho. Our dual diagnosis program helps men with ADHD (and other mental conditions) work through their addictions while accounting for their diagnosis. This can lead to lower relapse rates and develop stronger coping mechanisms to help individuals live their best lives.
We are experienced, licensed professionals with one job – to help you recover from addiction and build a fulfilling life. Contact us today to learn more.
Clinical Director
Kendall Maloof is the clinical director at Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has held multiple leadership roles before settling here at Eagle Creek. Kendall received her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology in 2016. Her career in mental and behavioral health began in 2014 when she took up internships in both the nonprofit and for profit sectors. She interned at multiple reputable companies, such as The Living Success Center and 449 Recovery in California.
In 2019, Kendall became the clinical director of Sunsets Recovery for Woman, a dual diagnosis program in southern California. Kendall is a natural leader. She has an incredible ability to problem solve and stay calm in any situation. Kendall never fails to show up when she is needed, and her calm demeanor makes her team and clients feel at ease. Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery is proud to have Kendall as our clinical director.
