Choosing a therapist can feel overwhelming. If you’ve never been to see any mental health professional, you may be unsure on who may work best for you. For men, it can feel unclear on whether working with a man or someone of a different gender will be the best for their mental health.
The answer often depends on your comfort, background, and the issues you want to work through. But what matters most is finding the best therapist for you and one who serves your needs.
At Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery, we understand how personal this choice can be. We work to support men’s mental health in helpful ways that lead to long-term success.
Advantages of Seeing a Same-Gender Therapist
Seeing a therapist of the same gender may help you feel more naturally understood. Some people feel safer discussing trauma, especially if it involves the opposite gender. Same-gender therapists might better relate to social expectations you’ve experienced.
Same-gender therapists often share similar cultural or generational experiences. You might not need to explain certain details, which can make sessions feel more efficient and emotionally safe. You may feel less embarrassed discussing topics like puberty, sexuality, or parenting. Feeling at ease can make it easier to speak honestly and share what’s going on.
People healing from gendered violence may benefit from a therapist who feels familiar. The same gender might offer a sense of solidarity or shared values. For example, a woman talking to another woman about body image might feel less judged. Men might feel more understood discussing fatherhood or masculinity ideals with another man.
However, gender alone doesn’t guarantee understanding or connection. You still need someone trained, respectful, and caring. A good therapist listens well, regardless of gender.
Benefits of Seeing a Therapist of a Different Gender
Some people feel more comfortable opening up to someone of a different gender. This may come from wanting distance from shared gender roles in society, or fear of being pressured to act a certain way. Others feel less pressure to present themselves a certain way with a therapist that isn’t of their gender.
A different-gender therapist might offer a fresh, new perspective. This can help you challenge gender-specific beliefs or biases. Some people feel validated by receiving empathy from someone unlike them.
Seeing a therapist of a different gender might give you space to reflect on how you relate to others. For example, a woman working through father issues may find it helpful to talk with a male therapist. Likewise, a man with trust issues around women might practice safe communication with a female therapist. This approach can support healing past wounds.
Different-gender therapists may bring new cultural or emotional insights. They might ask questions you wouldn’t expect from someone of your gender. It’s all about what works for your healing.
The most important thing in working with a therapist is feeling understood, accepted, and emotionally safe. Gender is only one small part of the decision.
It’s important to find a therapist that uses an approach and method that works well for your healing. Ask yourself: Does the therapist have training in addiction therapy or the specific issues you’re facing? Do they use an approach that feels right to you?
Some people prefer structured therapy. Others want a more conversational style. It’s important to feel like you can be yourself and express yourself honestly in therapy. You should never feel judged, rushed, or silenced.
Pay attention to whether you feel you can trust your therapist. They may hold to professional values of confidentiality, but it’s important to note if you don’t feel safe enough to open up. Does the therapist listen without judgment and respect your values? Your instincts matter.
If you’ve had negative experiences with one gender, it’s okay to not desire to undergo therapy with someone of that gender. You may know intellectually that this person is not going to hurt you simply because they belong to a certain gender. This isn’t about blame — it’s about safety and trust. A good therapist will validate your experience and understand if a change needs to be made.
If something feels too hard, listen to yourself. Therapy isn’t about pushing through fear alone. It’s about healing safely. Some people use therapy to gently face those fears. Others need distance to feel safe. Both are valid.
Start with the therapy or therapist that feels safest to you, and build progress from there. Therapy is your space to heal. You’re allowed to shape it based on your history. Your feelings can guide the pace. You have the right to say no to something your therapist wants (or pause therapy altogether) whenever needed.
People with trauma may have strong preferences about therapist gender. This is common and completely valid. A person harmed by one gender might feel unsafe around that gender. It’s not bias, but a survival instinct.
Therapy should never force you to relive trauma in uncomfortable ways. If safety means working with someone of a specific gender, that’s okay. Gender can impact how safe your body and mind feel in therapy. Experiencing trauma can make trusting people difficult, and that challenge may feel even greater when undergoing something as emotional as therapy. Therapists trained in trauma will understand this dynamic. They won’t take it personally.
For survivors of abuse, power dynamics tied to gender can feel especially intense. Sessions should promote empowerment, not fear. Some people start with a same-gender therapist and later feel open to others. It’s okay to try different arrangements until you find something that works. Your healing process comes first.
Yes. Cultural values can shape who you feel safe with. In some communities, speaking openly to the opposite gender may feel inappropriate. Others may be taught that emotions shouldn’t be shared at all. A therapist who understands your cultural background can ease this tension. They can help bridge cultural norms and encourage emotional openness.
A therapist who shares your cultural identity and gender can reduce the need to explain certain traditions or beliefs. Shared experiences with immigration, language, or family expectations can also build trust. Some people want someone outside their culture to avoid feeling judged.
Other people may prefer a therapist who understands their language and customs but lives outside of it. There’s no wrong answer. The key is feeling respected and understood.
Therapy should feel like a place where all parts of you are welcomed. It’s okay to ask questions before starting therapy or even during the therapeutic process. You deserve a therapist who truly understands and respects your experience.
How Can I Tell if a Therapist Is a Good Fit for Me?
You’ll know you chose the right therapist when you feel safe and heard. You don’t have to feel completely comfortable right away, but you should notice a growing sense of trust. You should feel respected, even when discussing difficult topics. The therapist should listen carefully and respond in ways that help you think more clearly. You may leave sessions feeling lighter, more understood, or more curious about yourself.
You don’t need to agree with everything a therapist says. Sometimes growth feels uncomfortable. But you shouldn’t feel dismissed, judged, or pressured. The right therapist will honor your pace. If something isn’t working, they should welcome your feedback. You should feel like a partner in your process of healing, not like your therapist is trying to fix you.
It’s all right to change therapists if the fit isn’t right. It doesn’t mean that therapy won’t help you. It just means you’re still looking for the right match. Trust your experience. You deserve to work with someone who helps you grow, not someone who adds confusion or discomfort.
Get Mental Health Support at Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery
If you’re seeking compassionate and personalized mental health support, Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery is here to help. Our team of experienced therapists understands the importance of finding the right fit for your healing journey. We offer a range of therapeutic approaches and develop treatment plans tailored to individual needs, ensuring that you feel safe, heard, and respected throughout the process.
Whether you’re dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, our dedicated professionals are committed to supporting you every step of the way. We offer specialized support for people with dual diagnosis, because we know that knowing how to manage mental health conditions is essential to maintaining sobriety.
Reach out to Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery today to explore how we can assist you in finding the right mental health support. It’s not a weakness to need mental health support. Reaching out and asking for help is an act of strength, and a proactive step to building a life that’s truly yours.
Clinical Director
Kendall Maloof is the clinical director at Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and has held multiple leadership roles before settling here at Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery. Kendall received her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology in 2016. Her career in mental and behavioral health began in 2014 when she took up internships in both the nonprofit and for profit sectors. She interned at multiple reputable companies, such as The Living Success Center and 449 Recovery in California.
In 2019, Kendall became the clinical director of Sunsets Recovery for Woman, a dual diagnosis program in southern California. Kendall is a natural leader. She has an incredible ability to problem solve and stay calm in any situation. Kendall never fails to show up when she is needed, and her calm demeanor makes her team and clients feel at ease. Eagle Creek Ranch Recovery is proud to have Kendall as our clinical director.
